Is this real life?

Those words seem to cross my mind quite frequently… I never know anymore. I’m currently sitting in the Chips office in the basement of the Union, waiting for the printer to work so the copy editors can make corrections on our pages and our paper will turn out well. This is typical of my Monday nights now – good way to learn time management skills, that’s for sure.

Time management. That’s probably the reason why I haven’t blogged in a month. I thought I was really good at it after this summer, but I’d forgotten what college was like. When you throw in an hour and a half of rehearsal every day, sectionals, classes, meetings, production nights, and needing to make your own dinner, well, all that time is gone. I don’t sleep very much anymore. “My activity load isn’t small of course, but it seems manageable,” I wrote in my last entry. Ha. Ha ha.

I shouldn’t be so cynical, really. I’m enjoying my time here at Luther. Homecoming weekend just finished up yesterday, with our first Symphony performance. Plus I got to march in the parade with the Performing Arts Committee, flipping the script from the summer, during which I spent a great deal of time taking pictures of parades. I also went to the Flamingo Ball with a couple of my good friends. Just wasn’t a very productive weekend in terms of homework. Was it worth it? Well, I have mixed feelings. I got to see some wonderful alumni, the best part of Homecoming. At moments, I wonder, though… how much does all this really mean? Do you need to stay true to your school for all those years? Some people were here who graduated in 1938. Will I still want to come back when I’m 90? (Assuming I live to be that old?) That remains to be seen, as do many things in my life.

I wish I could spend more time working on my senior paper, which deals with rhetoric in Shakespeare’s Henriad. I just don’t have that kind of time. I say I’ll do it over fall break, but that assumes I won’t want to spend the whole break sleeping. I want to go for bike rides over the beautiful Upper Iowa and walk around town with my friends eating ice cream. I want to spend my mornings drinking coffee outside and writing, my mind entrenched in calmness. But now, I’m tired. This state of things doesn’t look to end anytime soon. Not until May.

I miss my beautiful Seattle. I miss my books and my family. I miss having all those hours in the day to write in my journal about whatever came to mind, be it serious news of the day or funny things that happened. I’m still keeping up with my habit of writing down some things about every day, thank goodness. But I don’t take very many breaks. Every minute, I’m pushing myself to do something: reading, writing, practicing, sending emails, organizing, brainstorming, et cetera. I love everything that I do, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m losing track of things, no matter how much I write them down. Is my list too long? 

I wish I had more exciting things to write here. I started this blog initially to document my experiences as a Patch intern, but it will probably serve other purposes for me too, with my hopes of going abroad next year with ELCA Young Adults in Global Mission. And I want to talk more about my findings on my senior paper/project. But now, all I’m realizing is that college is intense. I’m not sad or angry about it… Just tired. So it’s time to head home.

At least the printer got its act together.




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